I’ve never been the biggest Flyers fan. The sport confuses me, the names are long and ignore phonetics, and the ball is hard to follow.
However, there are somethings in life that, from the moment you lay your eyes on them, force you to completely reevaluate all your beliefs.
Ladies and gentleman, I introduce to you, Gritty, the Philadelphia Flyers newest mascot.
Does he blink: No.
Are his beady eyes constantly moving: Yes.
Could I buy a dime bag off him: Probably.
Do I love him: With my whole heart.
The Flyers announced today that Gritty will be the team’s newest mascot and I’m thrilled with the direction the team is heading in. Animal was always my favorite Muppet.
According to Gritty’s lore, he was discovered in the Wells Fargo Center during construction and renovation. Meaning, he’s been living in Wells Fargo, possibly for years, maybe even millennia, without anyone knowing.
As excited as I am for Gritty, someone should seriously have a chat with Wells Fargo’s head of security because they might have a serious Muppet infestation.
The team wasn’t very specific on what exactly Gritty is, but we do know he’s 7’0, orange, fuzzy, and looks like he’s always ready to party.
Every hockey season, I tell myself I’ll give a legitimate effort and keep up with the Flyers, but that usually lasts a period. Sometimes I’ve actually been able to stay interested for an entire game.
But there’s something about seeing pictures of Gritty already falling on the ice that makes me think this year is gonna be different.
The future is bright for the Flyers, bright orange. And hairy. And probably on prescription pain killers.
Snowballs & Batteries 