Are you there God? It’s me, Jimmy.
My faith has been shaken recently and I’m really not sure what to do about it. I keep asking myself, “How are the Eagles this bad?!” and it makes me wonder why you would ever do this to us, you made the Eagles look so good in the preseason and then you give us this? You gave us Superbowl hope!!
I mean seriously dude, we were cool when the pope came. We gave him the red carpet treatment, we provided him with enough kid foreheads to kiss and people to bless, we were good hosts. I mean should we of given Mark Wahlberg the mic to talk to the pope? probably not, but hey, hindsights 20/20.
I just don’t get it God, are you only happy when a little tiny piece of your planet called “Philadelphia” has a bad football team and everyone who lives there is miserable. Is not sucking really too much to ask for?
So please God, fix my football team, and if not for me, than do it for Bradley Cooper, he deserves better than this.
— This ends the talking with God portion of the Article —
So the Eagles are fresh off their first win of the season in New York, they’ve got players coming back from injuries, and they’re playing the Washington Foreskins, obviously they’re going to lose.
But seriously whenever you see the name Washington Redskins on your schedule, you have to think there’s a good chance you’re gonna be walking away with a W that week. Not the Eagles though, we’re not that lucky. No this week the Eagles were the second team in NFL history to allow a Kirk Cousins game-winning drive. Yep, it was that kind of a week.
For those of you keeping score, the Eagles have now let up game winning drives to Kirk Cousins and Brandon Weeden, well Weeden’s was more of a game clincher, but still just as embarrassing.
This team is an absolute mess right now, they aren’t operating consistently in any facet of their game and its killing them. The offense can barely put together drives and the defense just squanders whatever the offense can actually out on the board.
The fans are getting hungry for wins and if they can’t have them, then they’ll just settle for Chip Kelly’s head over their mantle. Seriously though, I thought the fact #FireChipKelly was trending on Twitter seemed a little bit dramatic. Now I will say that panic button is looking very enticing, but I don’t think it’s time yet, mostly because I don’t see this loss as Chip Kelly’s fault, it was a group effort.
The player I have the most beef with is Caleb Sturgis, and Im talking some grade-A Kobe type beef. Signing Sturgis was a move that I liked a lot at first, I knew Sturgis was young and had shown off some potential in the past, so I couldn’t for the life of me understand why the Dolphins cut Sturgis, but im starting to see it now though. The Dolphins are a complete mess right now, but I don’t think anyone is questioning their decision to give Sturgis the boot. Really makes me wonder who the hell the Eagles brought in for that kicking competition. I read somewhere that even old Murder Leg got a shot at the kicker job, so I think Sturgis kind of just won the job out of default.
I’ll give the guy the benefit of the doubt on this one, albeit a very very small benefit. He barely played in the preseason and hasn’t been in an actual game for a little while, so the rust is there, but he has to be nearly perfect if he wants to stick with this team. One miss and the Eagles might show him the door, that’ll happen when you miss your first two attempts as a team’s new kicker.
Right after Sturgis, Nelson Agholor sits as a strong number 2 on my shit list, a steamy, wet number 2. Watching the game Sunday, I felt like I was watching Josh Huff’s rookie season, it was a one step forward, two steps back kind of day. He had a beautiful, one handed 45 yard catch, but then followed it up bobbling the handoff on and end around and coughed up the football ending the drive. That catch put them very close, if not on the cusp of field goal range, I realize that a Caleb Sturgis field goal may be asking a lot, but you have to put your team in position to do good things and Agholor’s fumble doesn’t help anyone, he needs to start making a bigger impact on this team.
But please let me talk about Agholor’s 45 yard catch, but more specifically, LET ME GUSH OVER SAMMY BRADFORD’S DEEP BALL! Bradford finally looked farther than 10 yards in front of him and it was basically the lone redeeming factor from Sunday. Bradford actually earned his highest PFF score of the year and it was deservedly so. He took advantage of Washington’s piss poor safeties and exploited them over the top throwing a 62 yard TD to Riley Cooper and a 39 yarder to Miles Austin. Yep, Bradford even managed to get Miles Austin some love.
Throwing over the top against Washington makes obvious sense, but it has me wondering where were these plays where the Eagles were hosting Dallas. You could make the argument that Dallas has worse safety play than Washington and yet Chip Kelly felt it was best if they didn’t test the Cowboy’s secondary, go figure.
I honestly have no idea where this team is going. The issues are apparent, but there aren’t very many in season solutions that can save this sinking ship. The Oline is in the most desperate need of help, but the Eagles have no means of providing it. The best thing I can of is picking up a player off a team that’s already waved the white flag, someone like Kyle Long from the Bears, but Im just not sure they have the picks to pull something like that off.
If the Eagles can’t iron out their wrinkles, they may just have to wait till the offseason to fix their problems and hope they can work around them, which they can’t. Pretty soon it’ll be time for the Eagles to just lick their wounds, try to get a high draft pick, and wait for the season to end.
Of course the Eagles suck the year after Marcus Mariota is drafted, they just always seem to have the best timing.
The Eagles aren’t good, but luckily so is the rest of the NFC East and the Saints. If the Eagles can work with their cream cake schedule, they may be able to sneak their way to the top of the NFC East and once your in the big dance, anything can happen.
This week the birds are seeing the Saints at home, I’d say a game they should win, but I really have no idea with either of these teams. I just hope the Eagles secondary can hold their own, otherwise we’ll be seeing an awful lot of Brandin Cooks, one of the players the Eagles were targeting in the first round when they settled for Marcus Smith. The Saint’s D is soft, so if everything goes right this could be a game the Eagles use to build some confidence.
Snowballs & Batteries 